


You Are The Daybreak

by louisianaspell



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Reader Insert, Some Fluff, cross posted from tumblr, non Canon, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-08 14:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15245613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisianaspell/pseuds/louisianaspell
Summary: Bucky decides that waking up with you in his arms is the closest that he'll ever get to heaven. What happens when he learns the truth and what does that mean for your relationship?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for Bucky and the MCU, so please be gentle.

Bucky decided that when he dies and if he somehow manages to get himself into heaven, that this is what he hopes heaven is like. The morning light peeking through his bedroom curtains and the feeling of you curled up against him, your head resting on his chest, your legs tangled with his and the delicate feeling of your fingertips tracing shapes and words on his skin. Even if Bucky doesn’t find himself in heaven at the end of his life, at least he knows he experienced a small slice of it here on earth with you. He tries to hold off opening his eyes because waking up means that at some point the two of you would have to leave his bed and face the world that was waiting outside his bedroom door.

“I know you’re awake,” you tease, even with his eyes still closed Bucky can still perfectly see your smile in his mind.

“But I don’t want to be, I just wanna stay here in bed with you.” He opened his eyes and was greeted with your playful smiles.

“We have to leave this bed at some point today, love. Like they say, all good things must come to an end.” You said.

“True, but until then we’re not leaving this bed.” He pulled you tight against him. The two of you stayed like that for what could have been minutes, hours or even days, the passage of time meant nothing to Bucky since it never felt like it was long enough. But even in the safety of the bubble you were in, Bucky couldn’t help feeling like something was wrong and no matter how he tried to push the feeling away, it just kept taking root deep in his mind.

“What’s wrong, my love?” You asked, it felt like you could tell there was a battle raging in his mind.

“I…I can’t remember our life together. I feel like there are entire chapters of our story missing.” Bucky quietly answered, ashamed that he could forget something that was so obviously important.

“Is that all?” You asked, once again in a playful and lighthearted tone.

“Doll, I can’t even remember how we met. You deserve someone who is able to remember every single moment with you.”

“Love of mine, you are too hard on yourself. You haven’t forgotten anything, our story has yet to be written.” You said sitting up and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I don’t understand, what do you mean?” Bucky asks, sitting up so he can face you.

“None of this is real, sweetheart. We’re just a dream.”

“No. This is real, we’re real. You’re here with me in my bed.” He replied with his voice laced with anger.

“I know you want it to be real, Bucky. That’s why I need you to wake up.” You said, trying to calm him down.

Bucky watched your face, looking for any trace of malice but Bucky knew you would never be that cruel and and there was already apart of him that knew that you were telling the truth and was just waiting for him to accept it.

“If this isn’t real, please don’t make me wake up. I don’t wanna leave you,” he wrapped himself around you, “don’t make me leave you, please.”

“Everything will be alright, my darling. I promise, but you need to wake up. Everyone is waiting for you.” You wiped the tears from his cheek.

“No, please. Just let me stay here with you.”

“Believe me, James. I know you want to stay and I want you to stay, but you can’t.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t, I promise. I need you to wake up and find me, James. Find me so we can begin writing our story together.” You kissed him and Bucky swears he had never felt something so magical in his entire life. He closes his eyes trying to commit the feeling to memory, slowly the feeling of you in his arms begins to fade away as he feels himself being pulled away from you. “…remember that I love you.”

Bucky slowly opens his eyes to see the ceiling lights of the medbay inside of the Tower. He looks around he can’t help but feeling a deep sense of disappointment knowing that your face is not among those waiting beside his hospital bed. His heart knows that you’re out there and waiting for him and that is enough for him until he finds you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here’s part 2 for those of you that were interested in one. I am a giant slut for 18th century fashion, so be warned. The photos used for reader’s dress and Bucky’s uniform are not mine, the original photo used for Bucky found can be found **[HERE](http://www.farfarawaysite.com/section/turn/gallery.htm)** (I know the epaulets are wrong for Bucky’s rank and I also don’t picture him w/ the helmet) and the original used for the reader’s gown can be found **[HERE.](http://www.frockflicks.com/outlander-season-2-costumes-preview/)**

This was new. Bucky had never dreamt of this place before, granted for the past few years all he had ever dreamt about was all the horrible and horrific things he did while under Hydra’s control. For now he found himself walking alone through an empty field of grass and wildflowers, with soft sounds of songbirds in the distance and the sun hanging low enough to paint the sky above him in soft pinks and oranges. The waning sunlight gave the world the illusion of a soft glow, it felt peaceful and ethereal, putting Bucky at ease. God, Bucky would trade what’s left of his immortal soul to dream of this place more often.

Bucky continues walking through the endless field with no clear destination in mind, not that he knew where he was or where he suppose to be going, he runs his hands through the tufts of tall grass as he lets his legs carry him forward as if they know the way. He doesn’t mind wandering through this seemingly endless field because for the first time since he gained his freedom, he feels the sense of inner peace that he has so desperately searched for.

He freezes when he finally spots you lying in the grass surrounded by wildflowers of various colors and shades while staring up at the sky. Bucky wishes that he was able to take a picture or that he had Steve’s artistic talent so that he could preserve this moment forever and to make sure when he wakes up he never forgets how it makes him feel complete. Even though he’s staring right at you, Bucky is still surprised when you become aware of his presence since he’s still frozen in place. He watches as you smile at him, propping yourself up on your elbows to face him.

“Hello, soldier. It took you long enough, I’ve been waiting for you all day. I was beginning to think you were gonna stand me up.” You greet him with a smile that makes his heart melt. You shift yourself onto your left side, reaching out to Bucky with your right hand. He doesn’t wait for you to say anything else before he throws himself on the ground beside you.

“I could never do that, doll. I’ll always find you, no matter what.” He promises, he says it hoping you’ll understand his promise extends into the real world.

He can’t help himself, he knows that this isn’t real but he still needs to feel you as he pulls you on top of him as if your body will anchor him in this dream world. Your soft laughter fills his ears while he buries his face in your hair, he wants to commit it’s light floral scent to memory so that he has something to hold onto when he feels trapped in those dark places of his mind. Bucky knows that there is no passage of time here, so he fully intends on making this moment last as long as he needs to since you make no effort of trying to leave his embrace.

“This is a lot of dress,” he comments as he runs his hands along the fabric of your [turquoise and painted ivory silk 18th century gown.](http://i66.tinypic.com/ws9q2f.jpg) “Ya look so beautiful, doll. But it’s a bit much, dontcha think?”

“I had to match you, otherwise we would both look very silly together.” You teasingly said, nuzzling your your face in his broad chest.

It never dawned on Bucky to look at his own clothing, he looks down to see himself wearing [some sort of military uniform.](http://oi66.tinypic.com/11ufabt.jpg) This definitely wasn’t his army uniform from the 1940s, no this one was much older than that. The deep blue and buff colored coat, the buff waistcoat and pants tucked neatly into black leather riding boots. Normally, he hated to have anything tight around his neck, but he found that he wasn’t bothered by the white cravat tied around his neck. Bucky knows that in any other situation he would look and feel ridiculous but here with you, he felt normal, like this is how he should be dressing in this place.

“Okay, so why am I wearing this?” He asked, gently pulling at the fabric of the cravat, he was careful not to mess it up since he wasn’t sure if he would be able to fix it.

“I’m the wrong person to ask, my love. But does it really matter? You look so handsome all done up in blue and gold like this.” You answer, running your fingers down the brass buttons of his coat. Bucky decides in that moment that if you really meant that you liked this look on him, he would wear clothing like this everyday for the rest of his life as long as it meant you were happy.

His only thought is to make you happy and enjoy this time with you since this is the first time Bucky’s dreamt of you since his stay in the Tower’s medbay. Every night since then he would go to sleep hoping and praying to whatever deity that hears him that he’ll see you again. Each night, his prayers go unanswered as he is subjected to his usual nightmares of completed missions, the voices of victims begging for their lives and more blood than he cares to recall. Bucky knows he doesn’t deserve anything nice in this lifetime so after a few months he gives up on ever seeing you again. Just when he had given up, here you are cradled in his arms in this tranquil place.

There’s a million different questions that he wants to ask you, but he doesn’t know where to start and he scared that asking you these questions will give him answers that he’s not sure he can handle. You begin to stir in his arms, Bucky swears it almost feels like you can sense the uneasiness in his mind as you untangle yourself from his arms, sitting beside him with your legs stretched out in front of you.

“Why don’t I dream of you more often?”

You look at him for a moment, he can tell there’s an answer on the tip of your tongue. “If it were up to me, my love, we would be together every night. But if I had to guess, maybe it’s suppose to be motivation for you to find me. You are looking for me, aren’t you, love?”

“Of course I am, every moment I have is spent trying to find you, doll.” He replies, what he fails to mention is that finding you is easier said than done. How can he find you when he knows so little about you, he wants to ask for every possible detail of you and your life but his motivation for questioning is long forgotten the moment he saw you.

Bucky moves and lays his head in your lap, he’s so tempted to pour his heart and soul out to you and tell you how being here with you is the only reprieve he has from the nightmares that continue to haunt his sleep. He decides against it, he doesn’t want to force the weight of his sins onto you.

“What is this place? Is it real?” He asks instead, again breaking the silence between you.

“I’m not really sure, maybe we were here together in another life or maybe this is just where you need to be right now.” You answer, absentmindedly running your fingers through his hair. The gesture relaxes Bucky and for awhile he forgets his problems of the real world and just allows himself to feel like a normal man spending time with the woman of his dreams.

Bucky was lost in the sound of you humming a vaguely familiar song and the warmth of your body against his. This was the feeling that he had yet to find while awake, his time in Wakanda gave him back control of himself, therapy gave him tools to help him process and deal with his past and having Steve in his life helped him navigate his way in this modern world. If Steve could build a life in this world, then so could Bucky. Even with all the progress in his life, he knew he was missing something that he could never put his finger on it, until now.

“Come on. On your feet, soldier.” You said, gently pushing Bucky off of your lap and standing up. You held out your hand to him, gesturing for him to stand up and follow you.

“Nooo, I wanna stay here.” Bucky whined, he knew he probably sounded like a spoiled child but he didn’t care, this was his dream and he wanted to spend it with you laying in this field.

“Aren’t you curious to see what else there is?”

“Nope. Everything I need is right here. I’ve got my best girl, wearing the fanciest dress that I’ve ever seen in my life.” He answered as he slowly stood up, taking his time to appreciate just how beautiful you looked in that gown.

“Fine,” you laugh. “Will you at least give your best girl a dance before you go?” You asked. Bucky was surprised just how bright your eyes sparkled when you smiled at him, he hopes he remembers this detail when he wakes up.

“Anything for you, doll.” Bucky isn’t sure what compels him, but he bows to you and offers his hand to you, he laughs as he watches your curtsy before him. Taking your hand in his, he pulls you in closely against his chest. You once again start humming the song that Bucky feels like he should know. The two of you dance together to the sounds of your humming and the birds in the distance.

He knows that this is what true happiness feels and looks like as he watches you smile and laugh at his antics as he tries his best to remember the dance moves that had all the girls swooning back in the day. Finally the two of you settle on a steady swaying motion as Bucky holds you tight.

“I’m sorry, James. It’s time for you to go.” You said, taking a step back from him. Your smile isn’t nearly as bright as it was before as you take his hand into yours and gently kiss the palm of his hand and place it over your heart. “Just know that I love you and I’m waiting for you.”

Bucky wanted to tell you that he loves you and that he’ll find you, but the loud shrill sound of his alarm overpowers the peaceful sounds of the fading dreamworld that surrounds him. For once he doesn't wake up in a cold sweat, but with a smile on his face because for the first time since since he broke programing he feels loved. He knows in the depths on his old soul that you really are out there somewhere waiting for him.


End file.
